


I'd like to make the world for you a better place - We both do

by TaamiB



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Adoption, Dad Armitage Hux, Dad Kylo Ren, Established Relationship, First Order, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic, Kylux - Freeform, Leia lives, M/M, Mild Smut, Mitaka is a great babysitter, Orphanage, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Redemption, Resistance, Slavery, Snoke does not approve, possible happy ending, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9400871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaamiB/pseuds/TaamiB
Summary: After destroying a village on Jakku, Kylo Ren is faced with a difficult decision; should he obey Snoke and kill all the survivors? Or should he follow his heart and save the orphan baby that's staring up at him with those big, scared eyes, despite of what his leader and his partner might say?Long-way-to-happy Redemption fic.





	1. Doing the right thing - how unusual for Kylo Ren

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> This is my first work for the Star Wars fandom, and I'm pretty nervous about posting it tbh :')  
> Just so that you know beforehand:  
> 1\. I do not support the way Hux and Ren behaved in TFA just because I ship them  
> 2\. Only the original characters belong to me, the other characters and the original story that inspired me belong entirely to their rightful owners and i'm not making any money from this  
> 3\. English isn't my first language so please have mercy :D

The wind was blowing heavily around Kylo's clothes while he ponderously made his way through the sandy dead zone that Jakku was. 

Being in a good shape, the sand underneath his feet didn't provide a huge problem when he first got there, but after almost an hour of fighting and walking around the not-so-tiny village, it became more and more exhausting with every step.  
Kylo swore under his breath when his left feet sunk into an especially soft spot of sand which almost made him stumble, relieved that there were only a few houses left to check for him and his troops before he was finally able to get out of this awful place.

Even though the sun has already set, the air was still warm and heavy from the exceptional warm day before.

The thick air did nothing to lessen the terrible smell of death that got blown into the Knight's face. He and his troops were surrounded by dead bodys, some of them still burning from the heat with which their weapons had hit them. The stench of urine, feces and burnt skin was omnipresent and hard to ignore.  
One of the more negative aspects of his profession, Kylo thought.

Finally, he reached the small house towards he was heading to, stepping over the corpse of an elderly man which laid face up in front of the door. The man's eyes were still opened, and his lips were slightly parted as if he was surprised about something.  
Apparently, he got hit in the chest by a blaster. The wound was hard to ignore, and his blood was seeping into the sand underneath him.  
Stopping for a second, Kylo took a closer look at the man's face. With a bit of fantasy, the person almost had some resemblence with Han Solo.  
Mentally shrugging the thought off, Kylo continued with his work.

Technically, he knew that it was impossible for any of the inhabitants of this village to still be alive as Kylo had ordered his men to shoot down every single one of them, and to set their hutts on fire if there were still people inside.

A tiny voice inside his mind required him to feel regret for what he did, or at least to feel sorry for the people who had to die because they weren't able to give him the information he was looking for, but with the years, Kylo became a master of ignoring this annoying voice. Remorse was something he didn't allow himself to feel anymore.

When he entered the house, he needed a few seconds to get used to the dim light, only existing thanks to the flames that were still swallowing the neighbor's home. There was smoke everywhere and it got into his eyes and burned inside of his nose, his mask wasn't able to keep everything out.  
Kylo coughed a few times before he noticed the corpse of a woman at his feet.  
She laid face down, and Kylo pushed her head around with his boot, making sure that she was indeed dead. Her light blonde hair was covered by sand and ash at some spots, and there was blood coming out of her nose and mouth.  
She looked a lot younger than the man in front of the house, Kylo noticed. Probably his daughter. She might have been pretty, even. But now she was nothing more than another corpse, irrelevant to him and the First Order.

The knight was just about to turn around and leave the rickety building when he heard an almost inaudible whimper, coming from the back corner of the room.  
It was hard to identify anything through the thick smoke, so he decided to take a few steps closer.  
If there was another person, he had to kill them, too.

'No survivors, no witnesses', the Supreme Leader had said.

Tightening the grip on his lightsaber that he held in his right hand, Kylo got closer to the back of the room.  
Now that he was almost there, he was able to make out the situation in front of him;  
There was a pile of blankets on the ground right in front of his feet, bundled up on a very thin mattress. To the right of that makeshift bed, he could recognize a table with two chairs next to it. The containers on the table must have toppled over when the blasters hit the unstable walls of the cottage, which mainly consisted of clay, supporting by a few wooden trunks here and there. Water was spilled all over the tables surface.  
There was a huge hole in the wall to his right, and Kylo was able to see two of his stormtroopers searching a hut that was nearly burned down completely already a few meters away.  
To the left of the mattress, Kylo recognized what must have been a crib, judging by its shape and the thin curtain that hung down from the canopy of the cot, covering it partly.  
He didn't hear any noise coming from the direction anymore, but his curiosity got the best of him.

Slowly, he pushed the curtain to the side with his free hand, and revealed the content of the crib; there it was, a malnourished looking baby, its honey-colored skin pale and dark eyes wide open, looking frightened and confused. The tiny human didn't look healthy, but it was alive.

'No survivors, no witnesses', Kylo repeated Snoke's order in his head. He knew that his master does not wish to be disobeyed.

Shrugging any feelings of doubt and qualm off, Kylo decided to get this over with as quickly as possible.  
No need to prolong the child's fate and his own remorse, it needed to get done either way, eventually.

With a sigh, Kylo took a step back in order to give his lightsaber the space it needed. He didn't want to hurt the child unnecessarily by not being carefull enough. Bad enough that it had to die, he didn't have to make it suffer beforehand, too.

With his right arm raised, weapon ready to be used, Kylo placed himself in the most practical angle. One fast strike, and it would be over. Easy. It wasn't the first time he had to kill an unarmed person.  
The first time he would have had to kill a baby, though.

'You can do this, Kylo,' he tried to tell himself. 'You're a goddamn commander, a Knight of Ren, don't make such a drama.'

He was ready to bring his weapon down onto the crib, parting it into two pieces, but he couldn't. Only a twitch of his shoulder was possible to him, then he resisted to move his arm further.  
Shaking his head, he raised his weapon again. Kylo started to get frustrated, it wasn't anything like him to make such a theater out of killing someone.  
Whether it was coincidence or not, Kylo would never find out;  
Just when he was ready to give it another try, just when he was starting to give the crib and the in there laying child the lethal hit, the babie's eyes wandered into his face, looking him into the eyes; and Kylo was unable to move.

He tried his hardest to _just do it_ , but he couldn't. It was not possible for him, not while this innocent, lonely child was looking at him with those huge, brown eyes, full of life and fear. In the back of his mind, Kylo knew that a child that age wasn't able to understand what happened around it, and still he couldn't convince himself that the baby didn't feel that something bad was about to happen.

The Knight closed his eyes for a second and toned his weapon down.  
When he opened them again, the child was still looking at him. It was disturbingly quiet, the way it just laid there, staring into his face, or rather his mask, not moving a limb.

„I can't do this,“, Kylo whispered into the silence around him.

The flames were still raging around them, and he could make out the shouts of his troops outside, but it was as if he was standing inside a cloud, where all the sounds and colors outside of this room were dulled. 

„Master, forgive me, I can't,“, he mumbled again, before another wave of smoke entered his mask and he was coughing again. 

Logically, Kylo knew that he couldn't just take the baby with him. The Finalizer was no place for a child, and he wouldn't be able to keep care of the baby's needs. But it seemed like all logic had left the Knight that night.  
Without giving it a second thought, he put his weapon back to his belt, and carefully lifted the skinny child out of the crib. It was dressed in nothing but a cloth diaper, so he clumsily wrapped one of the blankets from the bed around the small body, before softly placing the baby in the crook of his left arm, supporting the head that looked way too big for such a tiny body with the inside of his elbow.

Kylo was pulled back into reality when he heard a loud crack behind him, and noticed that the fire must have reached the walls of the hut. He already saw the flames beginning to wander up the door frame, and through the holes in the ceiling he was able to recognize that a part of the roof was already burning, too. They needed to get out of there, and they needed to do it fast.  
Making sure one last time that the baby rested securily in his arms, he hurried to get out of the building and towards the ship in which they came here.

It suddenly didn't feel nearly as hard to walk through the sand, anymore.

Kylo marched his way through burning houses and busy Stormtroopers, although many of them were already heading towards their ship, too. His men must have finished searching the hutts and killing the few survivors.  
He noticed that a few of the men he passed followed him with their gazes when he walked by, but he didn't allow himself to feel pressured by this. He was their Commander, after all, and his decisions were his business, not theirs.  
Before stepping onto the stairs that lead to the inside of the spaceship, he turned around, looking at the destruction they were soon to leave behind.   
There were burning houses here and there, a few already burned out places from which smoke rised into the sky, and even from the distance he could see the corpses lying around. 

'That's what happens when you chose the wrong side.', he thought as he took the last step inside, the baby still cradled in his arms.


	2. General Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux gets informed about what his boyfriend has done.

When Mitaka first informed Hux that he would find Kylo Ren in the infirmary, he was only midly worried. He didn't even let the other man finish what he wanted to say, since it was always the same, anyway.

It wasn't unusual for his boyfriend to get injured in a fight. He simply never knows when to stop, and in his rage, he tends to do things he didn't completely think through. It often backfires at him. Thankfully, nothing all too serious has happened so far, the wound he got from that Wookie was the worst incident in years, and he got over it pretty quickly.  
There was no need for Hux to get distracted by any sorrow, Kylo would probably be out of there after an hour at the most, as usual, and there were more imporant things for him to give his attention to than the little scratches or the bleeding nose of the other man.

When he was heading towards the refectory after he finished his last meeting, he was surprised to not find Kylo at their usual dining spot at the back of the hall. He scanned the room for a few seconds, seeing all kinds of familiar faces of the other people at the tables, but no sign of the creepy mask or the brooding face of his boyfriend.  
With a tired sigh, he reached his right hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes for a second, before turning around to Lieutenant Mitaka, who stood right next to him, looking at his boss as nervously as always, his datapad in front of his chest.

„Lieutenant, why again is Ren at the medical station?“, he asked, trying to not sound too annoyed by the unexpected occurence.

„As far as I got informed, he wasn't there to get a treatment himself, but because he brought someone with him who was in need of help, Sir.“, the shorter man hurried to answer, his hands crossed behind his back as if he was trying to make himself look taller by standing straight.

„And who is that special someone he took there?“, Hux said.

„I-.. I apologize, Sir. They didn't tell me.“, Mitaka answered, now seeming even more nervous than usual. He tried to look his General in the eyes while he answered, but failed miserably. His glance wandered to every point of Hux's face, but not his eyes. 

Even though he appreciated the Lieutenant more than he'd ever let him know, Hux sometimes can't help but think that this man was a lost case.

With an almost inaudible groan, Hux took a step outside the room again and pulled the other man with him by the arm, because they stood right in the entry to the dining room. He nodded towards a group of bypassing officers, which greeted him with the usual respectful „General“.

„Call them and ask if he's still there, would you.“, Hux said, trying to stay friendly even though he was starting to get really annoyed by then. He had mentally prepared himself all day for an early end of work, with a glass of wine in his hand, on the comfortable white couch in his room, and his moody boyfriend next to him. Instead he already saw himself trying his best to wipe up the mess the Knight has surely managed to create again by being too furious to think about the consequences of his actions first before he commits them. Typical.

He waited while Mitaka made his call, his head leaned against the cool aluminium of the wall he was standing next to.  
Since weeks, this awful headache wouldn't leave him alone, and no amount of pain killers had ever been able to actually help him.  
The coldness of the material dulled the pain for a second, before another sharp stitch made him furrow his eyebrows again, his mouth twisted in discomfort.

Mitaka, who was already used to his Generals ailment, and who knew better than to ask if he was doing alright, told him then that Kylo was indeed still at the infirmary, apparently waiting for Hux to get there.

Frustrated, Hux threw his hands in the air.  
„Why didn't he just call me then, god damn it.“, he swore under his breath before he turned around and strode off towards the medical station, Mitaka, as always, following right behind. 

\---

The Finalizer was a huge ship, and it took them quite some time to get to the infirmary. Officers they passed only got greeted with a short nod, Hux even consoled Captain Phasma to the next day.  
He was tired, stressed, and absolutely not in the mood for any conversation that could easily wait. Phasma would understand, surely.

Mitaka was panting lightly when they finally passed the front door to the medical station. The walls there were painted in a bright white, and the floor was white, too. There were no windows and every bed was covered by a thick curtain made of cotton, which were white aswell, but of a warmer nuance. All in all the room looked very sterile and clean, something Hux had put a lot of money and planning into.  
When he became General, the station was very dark, only illuminated by way too big spotlights that gave the room a cold and unpleasang atmosphere, and the walls were of a unsanitary looking gray. Being an advocate for cleanness and tidiness, Hux couldn't let this stand, and ordered his men to renovate it all over.  
He still wasn't completely satisfied with the end result, but it sure was a lot better than before.

They found Kylo at the end of the room, at the bed where the curtains were pushed back. His black clothes stood out prominently against the white environment, which didn't leave him much opportunity for hiding, even in such a big, angled room.  
He was sitting on one of the tottery plastic chairs which were specifically chosen as uncomfortable as possible for the visitors. Hux decided to buy those because he didn't want his subordinates to spend more time than necessary at the infirmary, since there were more important things to do than sitting around there, pitying the wounded and ill. They wouldn't heal faster by that, anyway.

The two men made their way through the empty hall, and the Knight only turned around to face them when they were almost next to him. Whatever he was watching there in front of him, it must have been more interesting.

„Lord Ren.“, Hux greeted his boyfriend. They might be softer around each other when they were alone, but being in public means business, and there was no room for loving words while being at work.

„General.“, Kylo responded, his lips twitching up into a tiny smile for a second. His helmet laid next to his feet on the ground. To no one's surprise, he didn't acknowledge Mitaka's presence.

Now that Hux was close enough, he looked at what must have been the person Kylo brought with him.  
On his way to the infirmary, he had many possible thoughts about who might have accompanied his friend, from a long lost officer to a member of the resistance Ren didn't dare to leave unsupervised by himself.  
What Hux didn't expect to find, however, was this very tiny person with tubes connected to their body everywhere;  
the baby was covered by a thick blanket, and it looked incredibly small and lost in that huge bed that wasn't made for a person their size. The infirmary was aligned for soldiers, grown men and women. Not for children, let alone an only a few months old baby.  
The child's eyes were closed, and there was a respiratory mask covering the tiny mouth and nose. Their skin was pale, but their cheeks were reddend slightly. The only indication that the baby was indeed still alive.

„Kylo, what-“, Hux began but stopped when the baby's leg twitched underneath the blanket, almost invisible, the blanket quivering only marginal. He stared for a second before starting anew, in a softer voice, now looking at his boyfriend's face. „Kylo, what is this child doing here?“

„I couldn't do it.“, the other man responded, watching the mask on the baby's face steam up in rhythm with their breathing.

„Couldn't do what?“

„I couldn't kill her, Hux. Snoke ordered me to not leave any survivors, but she-“, he stopped and turned his head around, looking right into Hux's eyes, the conflict within him openly showing in his expression. „- she's just a kid, not even a year old. How was I supposed to do it?“

Hux opened and closed his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say for a minute. Could he really call Ren out for not ending an innocent child's life? What would he have done it that situation? Would he have put his orders over his morals?  
As seldom as it occured, he couldn't find an answer to Ren's question. They had sworn to obey their Supreme Leader, but this situation was different. This wasn't a soldier or a traitor of the rebellion. It was a _baby_. 

When Hux didn't say anything, but looked at him with that unknowable expression on his face, Kylo sighed quietly and turned back to his previous position, his hands folded in his lap, black hair falling into the edges of his sight. 

After a few very uncomfortable, quiet minutes, during which Mitaka could've sworn he felt the air vibrating between them, Hux finally spoke again. 

„What is going to happen to her now?“, he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. 

„I don't know. To be honest, I hoped you would come up with something. It's your ship, after all.“, Kylo answered, just as quiet, still looking at the sleeping child. 

„Wait, what?“, Hux said, louder this time, which resulted in another movement of the baby's limbs. He immediately gets shushed by Kylo, who was now looking at him with narrowed eyebrows. Hux raised his arms apologetic and started anew, quieter this time; „What do you mean, 'it's your ship after all'? You can't impossibly think that we could keep her here?“ 

Kylo's expression shifted from slightly irritated to openly confused. „Well, what else are we supposed to do with her?“ 

„Literally anything else, but we can't let her stay here! This isn't a place for a kid, let alone a baby. We are in the middle of a war. And, what do you think, Snoke would say? He would never give his permission to this.“, Hux said. 

„You're damn right, we are at war! Do you want to give her into one of the already overfilled orphanages on the planets we are fighting against? Or sell her into slavery? Or, even better, shall I go back to Jakku, drop her in a random village and hope that she grows up to be a lonely, poor scavenger, if she's lucky, or rather, unfortunate enough to survive the next few years?“ 

Now it was Hux's turn to remind him to stay silent with a warning glance towards the kid.  
„I- I don't know, okay? I have never been in such a situation, I'm not prepared for this. Let me think about this for a minute, alright? And, by the way, where are the doctors?“ 

„I've sent her away. I wanted to talk to you in privacy.“, the Knight said, with a short disapproving look at Mitaka, who ducked his head as if he hoped it would make him disappear. 

Hux rubbed his tired eyes with gloved fingers. „Well, then call her back, would you. I want to hear what she's got to say.“ 

With that, Kylo pressed the red emergency button that hung over the left side of the bed, and a few moments later, a short woman with thick black hair, pulled back into a tight braid, strode through the door that leads towards the doctors offices next to the hall they were in. Her skin was the color of espresso, and a warm glow seemed to radiate off from her. Her light brown eyes looked friendly, yet a bit distant. Hux was surprised that he had never noticed her before, she looked fascinating, with her sharp jawline and those wake eyes. 

„General Hux,“, she greeted with a small smile, her voice confident and steady. He wasn't used to this boldness coming from his subordinates, but he didn't mind at all. It only added to her interesting aura. „I assume Lord Ren has informed you by now about his.. adventure?“ 

Her eyes wandered between him and said Knight for a second, but before Hux could do anything more than to nod in response, she was already speaking again. 

„I can't recall ever seeing you around, General. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. Sefa Abena. My speciality usually contents treating internal injuries by slightly bigger patients“, she turned her head towards the baby, smiling at it affectionately before continuuing, „but I gladly accepted this alternation. Actually, my collegues assigned her case to me. Probably because I'm a woman and that makes them think that I automatically am able to take care of a child“, her eyes shot to Hux's face again, who looked at her with slightly parted lips and eyebrows raised in surprise about her breeziness, „but that's a subject for another time.“, she ended with an assertive smirk. 

Normally, Hux would never allow anyone to talk to him like that. But there was something about the way this woman spoke, confident and yet not respectless, that didn't make him mad. On the contrary, he welcomed it. Getting his ass kissed by his officers and lieutenants was a pleasant thing, but the doctor was the first one to not back away when he was standing in front of her at his full size and with his unfriendly face, aside from his Kylo of course, and he found himself internally saluting her for that. 

Just when he anew was about to talk, she was continuuing her speech, which left him with an open mouth. He heard Kylo snorting quietly next to him, and slapped him harder than necessary on the arm with the back of his hand. 

„The girl was dehydrated and malnourished when she arrived, I assume this is a natural result of the poverty and shortage of food and water she came from. Jakku it was, right?“, she asked and looked at Kylo, who nodded shortly. „She was also very quiet and exhausted, which is why I decided that it would be for the best if we keep her here, at least for a few days, until she gains some strenght and weight. At the moment, we are feeding her intravenously with a combination of proteins, carbs, fats, vitamins and minerals, just what her body needs to feel stronger soon.“, she said, looking at her datapad. 

When he was sure that she had ended, Hux finally dared to speak again.  
„So, what does that mean exactly? Is she expected to become healthy again?“ 

„I can't guarantee by 100 percent that the months of malnourishment won't leave any long-term damage, but from her previous results, I am very hopeful.“, she explained with a satisfied smile. 

„Okay, that's um.. good to hear, yeah.“, Hux mumbled and nodded, his eyes now searching for Kylo's. The other man looked right back at him, expecting.  
„So, which options do we have? We quite obviously can't send her back to Jakku, but we can't let her stay here either, can we?“, the General asked. 

„For the next few days, I would highly recommend for her to stay here, where she is under observation constantly. And after that... I am not familiar with what you are allowed to do on this ship and what not, Sir.“, she said, one of her eyebrows raised in slight amusement as she looked up from her datapad and at Hux. 

Suddenly reminded that he was indeed the General of _his_ ship, and that he was the one to decide what to do and didn't need her or anyone's opinion, he put his hands behind his back and straightened up again.  
With his rehearsed, decisive General-voice, he thanked her formally and dismissed her. She gave Kylo a quick, supportive smile before she turned around and left the hall, heading off towards her office. 

'What a woman.', he thought. 

With another look at the child, Hux reached out and laid his hand on the Knight's shoulder, squeezing it lightly.  
„I don't want to continue this talk here. Let us go to our chamber, shall we?“, he said silently, and Ren nodded. Hux turned around and looked at Mitaka. „You can leave, too, Lieutenant.“ 

„Yes, Sir. Good night, Sir.“, the other man said, saluted, and left. Hux followed him with his eyes, and had to surpress an amused snort when he noticed how the Lieutenant's posture relaxed more and more with each step he got further away from him, but especially from Kylo. Sometimes, Hux felt sorry for him. He really didn't have it easy with both him and Ren. 

In the meantime, said Knight had stood up. He was already beginning to get next to Hux, when he turned around again and bend over the bed lightly.  
Slowly, he reached out with one hand and impossibly careful, he stroked a strand of curly black hair away from the child's forehead with his thumb. 

When he turned back to Hux, the General was shocked to see the unfamiliar mixture of affection, distress and worry in his boyfriend's eyes. The expression vanished so quickly, though, that Hux wasn't even sure if he really saw it, or if he had just imagined it. It was getting late, after all. 

Ren put on his helmet again and in silence, they made their way to Hux's room side by side, both absorbed in their own thoughts and sorrows. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far!:)  
> The doctor is one of my original characters in case you wondered.  
> Also, Mitaka will eventually have more to say, don't worry. He's not just there for decoration and being scared :D


	3. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Hux try to find a solution that satisfies everyone involved.

Kylo followed Hux into his room in silence. Neither of them has said a single word while they made their long way back to the General’s chambers.  
It was already late when they left the medical station, and only a few guards crossed their path.

Hux entered the room first and held the door open for Kylo, who thanked him with a short nod.

The light inside was dimmed, what caused the bedroom to be bathed in a warm, comfortable atmosphere. Even though Kylo had spent nearly every night here for a few months now, the unmistakable smell of his partner indulged him every time he entered, especially after he’s been gone on a mission. It smelled like home to him, and he indeed feel way more at home in Hux’s room than in his own.

Kylo took off his helmet and placed it at the edge of Hux’s side table, the one that carried his personal phone and the charging station for his datapad, as usual.

Hux also regarded him with an eyebrow raised in disapproval for that action, as usual. He preferred to not have that heavy black piece anywhere besides on the floor, given that he hated it with a passion, but they hadn’t talked about that matter only once or twice so far and he was too tired to mention it again. Kylo wouldn’t change anything about it, either way. 

He gave his partner an apologetic smile, even though they both knew that he wasn’t sorry, not really. His boots were the next thing he took off, at the same time as Hux did. Almost synchronous they put them down next to the jacket holder which was on the left side of the floor that led to Hux’s living room.

The General’s chamber was the only one that didn’t consist of only a living room that also served as the bedroom and a separate bathroom; the floor, where they were currently in, led to a big, light room with white walls, decorated with a few minimalistic black and white paintings. There was a comfortable sofa standing in the middle of the room, which was now facing the wall with the television monitor. With a remote, it was possible to turn the couch around by 180 degrees. It then faced the big glass front on the other side of the room, which allowed the viewer to look right at the planets and systems next to the Finalizer without having anything blocking the sight. There were three doors leading out of the room. One was the entry to the small kitchen to the left of the living room. It was equipped with a mini fridge, a cooker which provided place for two pots, a microwave, a small sink and an oven, small enough to be placed on top of the mini fridge or the desk in the living room. None of the other chambers on the ship had a personal kitchen. Officers as well as the common soldiers were expected to eat in the big lunch halls, even though they of course got separated depending on their ranks. Hux has only used the kitchen two or three times, at most. He usually was way too tired to cook something for himself after a long shift, especially when he had the possibility to just sit down in the dining hall and eat the stuff someone else has already made. The other doors led to a bedroom with a king-sized bed and a closet for the General’s clothes, and a bathroom with a shower, a tub, a sink and a toilet. Those rooms were decorated just as minimalistic as the other two, since Hux wasn’t one to fill his chambers up with unnecessary stuff, given that he normally didn’t even have the time to be there longer than to sleep or to spend a bit of time alone with his partner, anyways. 

The two men sat down on the soft couch next to each other, their shoulder’s touching, still without saying a single word.

Hux waited for Kylo to start the conversation, since it was him who wanted something from Hux, not the other way around. He watched the younger man chewing on his bottom lip nervously, as if he was afraid to talk about the situation.

It was unusual for Kylo to not act confident and cocky around Hux, and after a few minutes, he almost felt bad enough for his boyfriend to start talking first.

Just when he was about to open his mouth, the Knight finally spoke. “I can’t give her away”, he said. Afterwards, he fell silent again, obviously waiting for Hux to bombard him with reasons why that was an absolute inacceptable thing, and that he will not allow a baby to stay at his battleship. But that part didn’t come.

“I know”, Hux answered after a few seconds, almost whispering. He wasn’t looking at Kylo anymore, but instead stared at the turned off TV in front of them, as if he was hoping to find a satisfying solution on the black screen. “So”, Kylo started again. “… what now?”

Hux turned his head again and looked at the Knight, who was already watching him. They shared a moment in which they just looked into the others eyes, without saying anything. If he didn’t know better, Hux would have guessed that the emotion on Kylo’s face was fear. But what would the other man be afraid of? “Let us just quickly sum up the options we have, no matter how bad they are, alright?”, Hux asked, having enough of their irresolution. It was time to finally decide on something, literally anything would do. “So, the first option is to find her a good home on the planet she’s coming from, as impossible as that sounds. Don’t even say it!”, Hux said when Kylo was already opening his mouth to protest. “I know, okay? I know that won’t work. But I want to be able to say that we did consider it before we made a decision, alright?”, he continued and Kylo nodded, lips closed again.

“Our second option would be to give her into an orphanage. There are a few planets with renowned ones, aren’t there? Maybe we find one in a system that’s on our side, so she would be at least safe from any attacks from our side. I will tell Mitaka to look it up, later.”

“But she wouldn’t be safe there, either. The Resistance might attack the planet, you know that they are an unorganized bunch of angry criminals. They can be trusted to do unreasonable things of all kinds, and you know that.”

“Yes, I do. But no one can guarantee her safety if she stays here, either. The resistance might as well attack this ship, and what then?”

Kylo sat in silence for a moment, carefully thinking about his next answer. “Then she would at least be surrounded by our most capable fighters, commanded by the most capable General.”

Hux couldn’t help but snort at that open coaxing from his boyfriend. He always did that when he wanted something. The worst thing was, it usually worked.

“The orphanage wouldn’t have any possibility to protect her. She would be left alone with people who never fought once in their life, and even if they had, that wouldn’t help anyone if the Resistance let a bomb drop on their heads.”, he continued, the worry showing openly in his eyes. 

“Yeah, I see what you mean.”, Hux answered.

After a second, Hux suddenly straightened up and turned towards Kylo with his whole upper body. The General raised his left arm and placed his hand on the other man’s shoulder without squeezing.

“Please Kylo, I want to find a solution and I really want to understand your conflict, but I… I’m sorry but I feel like I just don’t get it, like I missed something major. It’s just… _why_ do you care so much about that baby’s future?”, Hux asked calmly, trying not to step onto one of the many mines Kylo had surrounded himself with over the years. What he really didn’t need right now was an argument. He just wanted to understand. 

“I don’t know how to explain this, I’m not even completely understanding it myself. I was supposed to kill her, and I didn’t. I let our men kill her family, everyone she ever saw, and then I took her with me. I… I feel responsible for her. I can’t just… give her away, Hux.”, Kylo said, without looking at the other man. Instead he was watching his right hand’s fingers while they played with the seam of his belt.

Hux scanned his boyfriend attentively. Maybe he had just imagined it, but Ren seemed even paler than he usually did, with dark bags underneath his eyes and light red spots on his throat, the ones he always got when he was angry or in distress. A few seconds passed before Hux started talking again.

“Even when giving her away would be the best option?”, he asked, cautiously. He suddenly felt terribly tired. Tired of talking, tired of thinking, tired of finding solutions. The problems never ended. And he was responsible, whether he was the one causing those issues or not. He loved Kylo, he wanted to support Kylo, but he didn’t know if he was able to do it.

The other man was now looking at Hux again, his dark eyes sad and filled with sorrow. “But it wouldn’t be. You know it, just as much as I do. There’s no safer place for her than at my side, at our side. And I won’t give her away again, not if there is even the slightest chance for me to keep her.”, he said. The initial expression of doubt and conflict had vanished from his face, and got replaced by determination and something Hux couldn’t help but describe as defiance.

That this man always had to be so stubborn.

“Okay, Kylo. Okay.”, Hux said, pausing for a second to let his fingers run through the Knights dark hair. Ren looked like he had to physically fight the urge to just lean into the touch and close his eyes. “Tell me how you imagine this to work. Give me a plan, a concept, anything. I want to make this work, but, and this is entirely new for me, I have _no idea_ , how. Where will she live? What does she need? Who will look after her when we can’t? And, how shall we feed her? I have zero experience with kids and babies. I don’t know what do to, and I hate feeling like this.”, Hux said, not able to keep the slight desperation he was feeling out of his voice. He didn’t feel ready to be responsible for a child, yet. He had never even planned on having children in the first place. But he knew that Kylo was right, and the kid seemed to matter a lot to him. How could he deny him to take care of her, then?

Kylo gave him a smile before he answered. He had obviously tried to hold it back, but gave up midway. He often forgot that he was allowed to show how he felt when he was with his partner; he still needed to get used to that form of freedom. “This might surprise you now, but I already thought about all of that! I had lots of time alone at the medical station, since a certain someone took forever to get there.”

Hux rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. “Well, you didn’t exactly tell me to meet you there. Anyways, go on.”

“Obviously, she would sleep in your chambers, where she always is close to us. All we really need is a bed for her, a table for diaper changes in your bathroom, and the other, smaller stuff. Toys, hygienic things, nothing dramatic. I talked to Dr. Abena about the issue with the food, and she said that we’d have the possibility to either feed her with artificially made milk, or, of course, with the original one.”

“You mean we should get a slave to feed her?”, Hux interrupted. It wasn’t unusual for the wealthier families to get a woman from slavery to nurse their babies, if for whatever reason the biological mother couldn’t do it. Kylo nodded. “Yeah, there a plenty of them available in the outer rim. Also, this would be the solution for when we don’t have the time or the possibility to take care of her, too.”

Now it was Hux turn to nod. He was surprised that Ren had actually put thought into the situation. Usually, he just decided to do something without thinking of the consequences and accompanying challenges first. Maybe there was some real leadership quality hidden inside of him, after all.

“The slave could also show us how to treat her properly. Also, Dr. Abena has already said that she would be ready to help us at any time.”

“You really did get along fine with her, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did, why? Jealous?”, Kylo asked with a wink and a wicked grin.

“Pff, yeah, me and jealous.”, Hux said, pulling his hand away from where it rested on the Knight’s upper arm.

Ren was faster than him, however, and already had it caught with his own hand after they weren’t even separated for more than a second. He gently squeezed it, before intertwining their gloved digits. “Wouldn’t be the first time, though.”, he stated, knowing that Hux wouldn’t mind the teasing.

On the contrary, actually. The other man smirked, before quickly reaching out with both his hand, taking hold of Kylo’s waist. Softly, he pulled the other man into his lap, who followed with little to no resistance.

Now on top of his partner, Kylo leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Hux’s lips. The other man immediately reciprocated the action, his arms tightening around the Knight’s middle in an attempt to pull him closer, even though there was already no space worth mentioning between them anymore. Kylo cupped the General’s face with both hands before slowly separating them again.

“So, are we really doing this?”, he asked after a moment, searching for any sign of unwillingness in his partner’s eyes. He couldn’t find it. “Yes, love. We are doing this. I’ll message Mitaka to set up a meeting with Dr. Abena first thing tomorrow, and then we can properly plan this.”, he said, but Kylo knew him well enough to know that there was something else he wanted to say. His nervous chewing on his bottom lip after he ended talking gave him away.

“But?”, Kylo asked, almost afraid of the answer. “No real ‘but’. It’s just… I know that you are taking this really serious, and, I mean, so do I, don’t get me wrong. And I have faith in you, I know that you are capable of doing a great job at this, you believe me, right?”, he asked and Kylo nodded with an uncertain smile. Where was the other man going with this? “I just feel like… I don’t think I’m ready for this, yet. I’m agreeing to this for you and for the child, but I can’t promise anything from my side. I don’t know how capable of taking responsibility for her life and of bonding with her I am. Not yet. Is that… okay?”

Hux looked miserable as he said that, as if he was afraid that Kylo had expected him to say something else, which he didn’t; Kylo knew his partner. He knew how difficult it had been for him to open up to Kylo himself, how much overcoming it cost him to tear down even the tiniest part of the huge walls he had built up around himself over the years. Many months of being together had passed until Hux finally felt comfortable enough to talk to Ren about his feeling, his sorrows, his fears.

No, Kylo didn’t expected his boyfriend to immediately feel the same affection towards the baby like he did. He didn’t need him to. All he needed was to know that Hux stood behind him in this situation, that he would support him, and Kylo knew that he would. They could work on the rest, they had plenty of time.

With a smile on his face, he kissed the General again. “This is perfectly okay.”, he said before letting their lips meet again. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far!  
> As always, comments and feedback are appreciated :)
> 
> Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I feel like I'm meeting my linguistic boundaries with every sentence I'm writing tbh.

**Author's Note:**

> Battlefields are pretty uncomfortable places to be at, huh? I tried to write it as realistic as possible :')  
> The child is about 4-5 months old when Ren finds them and yes, the woman on the ground was their mother.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this! Comments and feedback are more than appreciated :)
> 
> also, find me on tumblr if you want to; @armiitagehux.tumblr.com


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